It's all about Joel

One of the most significant events in my life over the past couple of years has been the birth of my second child Joel. He arrived in the world at 04:45 on Monday December 6th 2010. It was a cold December night. We'd had huge amounts of snow in the fortnight before his birth and we were worried in case it carried on snowing when Theresa went into labour in case we couldn't get to the hospital. However everything cleared up the week before and it was dry on the day in question. Theresa started getting contractions around 21:00 so we went to the hospital. We were told everything was fine and to go home and rest. At about 00:30 Theresa noticed blood when she went to the toilet and realised something wasn't right so we went straight back to the hospital. Luckily it was only 10 minutes drive from us. We knew we were going to have a boy and had been discussing middle names for a while. We’d settled on maybe Adam so he would have the same name as me, but then on the way to the hospital at 01:00 I happened to mention that it was St Nicholas’ day and that when I used to live in Belgium all of the kids used to get treats on that day – in Europe December 6th is more significant than December 25th. We both simultaneously decided that if Joel was born that day then his middle name would be Nicholas. Weird how things work out sometime.

Joel in kitchen - May 2012

Joel and Theresa had a difficult birth as he was breached and she had to be rushed into surgery and have an emergency c-section. It all got a bit dramatic and Joel wasn’t breathing when he was born. It took the operating team 3 minutes to bring him round. I was concentrating on Theresa so much that I didn’t realise there was a problem until I picked up that I hadn’t heard him cry. As I looked round he made a noise and all was well. I went over to see him and managed to hold him for a minute before I fainted. I think the emotion of the moment, the fact that I hadn’t slept for 30 hours and that I could see Theresa had gone through so much just overwhelmed me. I’m not embarrassed about it and it kind of added to Joel’s arrival in the world. To cap it all the song on the radio in the operating theatre was The Black Eyed Peas with ‘It’s going to be a good night tonight’. That summed it up perfectly. Strangely he weighed one ounce less than Meg at his birth. We have consistent kids!!

After the birth I came home and took Meg to school and life assumed some kind of normality for a while. Theresa and Joel stayed in hospital for three days while Meg and I had some time to ourselves as well. We finished preparing the house and our lives for the Joel to come home. As he was nine days early there were still bits and pieces to do. Theresa was given her own room (perhaps helped by us giving the nurses on duty some drinks and cakes on day one!?). That time and quiet really allowed them to bond and I’m convinced helped Joel to have a tranquil start to life in the outside world. I took two weeks paternity leave so it was lovely to take Meg to school and collect here each day. I took Joel out for his first walk after he’d been home for a couple of days. Theresa concentrated on Joel a lot and I think we generally embraced being a family of four.

Joel and Meg - April 2012

Theresa’s parents came over on day two and Marnie in particular was so excited about having a baby boy. Sam came over on day three and then we had a steady stream of visitors when we got home. Everyone seemed really happy for us and Joel seemed quite happy being passed around. Early impressions were of a child who liked being held, was quite at peace with himself and ate and poo'd regularly.

The first few days were exciting and tiring. I’d forgotten how exhausting it is to only catnap as Joel needed regular feeds. He took to breastfeeding well. After the two weeks leave I only had one week back at work before the Christmas holidays so it really felt like we all had a long period to bond as a family which I’m sure has proven beneficial. Gradually we moved into a routine, I went back to work in January, Meg went back to school and 2011 started well.

How to sum up the last 18 months with Joel without writing a book? He is left handed, very blond haired and with brown eyes. He seems very determined and likes being outdoors. He makes plenty of noise, but hasn’t said a recognisable word yet. I think this may be because he doesn’t see the point of it rather than through a lack of ability. He started walking at 16 months and is very confident now. He has recently figured out going up and down steps as well. He loves pushing things around and tries to be outdoors at any opportunity. We have recently landscaped the garden and that has given him a large and safe area to run around in. Joel likes playing with a variety of toys and loves music and dancing; Probably more so than even Megan. He sucks his thumb and has a funny way of needing to clutch his sleeve with his other hand while sucking as a comfort almost. He’s not interested in a little blanket though. It will go as far as cuddling up to my t-shirt when I’m carrying him on my back.

From very early on he was quite thoughtful and even now will still take things in before launching into something. He is very strong and if he doesn’t want to do something then he will resist vociferously. Joel does seem to understand what we are saying though and if we ask him to do something I’m convinced he knows what we’re asking. Overall he is very content little boy and is a delight to be around. He is quite mischievous in an endearing way which I suspect will take him far in his life.

Joel asleep - June 2012