Meg you are an amazing little girl

I took Meg out on her bicycle last night after I got home from work. I had promised her if she went to bed without fuss and did what Theresa asked her in the morning then it would be a treat. We went to the path at the back of our house and practised going up and down. Unfortunately the bike is still a bit too big for her still. She can’t put her feet on the ground properly and can’t pull the brake levers safely enough. Because of this I don’t feel safe enough to take her anywhere near roads yet or to let her cycle by herself. It’s a bit gutting as we used to regularly go out around the streets for a cycle/walk in the evenings. I hope that she will grow a bit over the Winter and come Spring we will be able to go cycling. My dream would be to go out on my bike as well and we can cycle together.

Meg picked up the cycling very well last night and after a few minutes was cycling unaided and even turning at the ends of the path without me holding onto the saddle. I found I was getting a bit frustrated with her at times though as she was trying to talk to me about other things and would lose control of the bike due to not concentrating. Thinking back on it now I feel a bit ashamed as I wasn’t fair to her. We didn’t have a fight or anything like that, but I wish I had been more fun and encouraging. Thinking back I think I was saying the right things and praising her, but it wasn’t enough from the heart. And I’m not very happy with myself about that. Meg needs to understand she is an amazing little girl. I need to understand and accept that too.

Theresa sent me a photo of Meg reading to Joel this morning and that makes me so proud of her. He idolises her and I want/need to make her life better so that she is happy too. I guess she is a lot of the time, but we have too many battles. For some reason I always look for the worst in what Meg is doing rather than the best. I need to learn to ignore the bad behaviour and encourage the good times. Ultimately I think I’m worried that Meg might turn out too much like me and be quite angry and negative about things. I don’t want that for her or for Joel as it’s not good being too much of me.

She was made play leader in her class for this week. For one of the youngest in her class she regularly seems to be nominated for awards and praise and that is fantastic. Why can’t I focus on that and phase out some of the other niggles?